Zeal.

As the sun sets in beneath the rainbows of purple and red, driving against winds that soothe a part of the core, a little bit at a time, she saw the rays struggling through the mane of clouds. Kind of like roots growing up the side wall of the neighbour's home you know, intimately out of place, yet so gorgeously fitting in.

Perhaps it's in the little things, she told herself. It's the way her smile sets in when a long forgotten song plays again on the crinkly car radio. Or the frown that sprouts the moment a displeasing thought caresses the tangible borders of her pulsating mind. She's reminded of his smile on that first day, that brought a thousand flutters where today lay only drying sparks of a long forgotten wish. The tires grinding furiously on the heated road, her mind drawing vicious ones of their own. Circles, we're going in circles.

Far across the greeneries meshing with the mountain greys, and the horizon whites with the ocean blues, sat a small fiery black dot of hope. Sailing away, sailing inwards towards the coast, who knew? She pondered over monumental conversations of the day. About principles and righteousness. Breaking into laughter, she was reminded of this wonderful quote she once heard: "All ethics are highly subjective and completely overrated." Maybe standing on those far-aways hills would liberate from ways of the world. Port-key was it, what they called it in the non-muggle world? They said only cowards flew away in the dark shadows, but oh, she disagreed! How much courage would it take, leaving your heart and soul behind like that.

Resigned, just like the sun felt behind the growing darkness of an announcing long night, she returned 'home'. Or so she made herself believe, plastering an intentional gorgeous smile, for it became an easy habit now. One through which lines of weariness had no battle to win, none to play.

Let It Go

Drowning into the deep blue sea,
Maybe far ashore ought there be some lighter warmth...
Afraid of dying, she never was
But the thought of a measurable life haunted her irrevocably
Far out the cry of dusk painted the horizon
Let it go, she said, for those bubbles held more than just breath

Footsteps in a busy street,
Maybe in their stride, could be swallowed their pride
Through an invisible race, stretched the finish line
But even in rivalry, could only a herd of conformists stay
Little children peeked round the corner
Let it go, they said, be free birds on open ground

Pecking on the window sill,
Maybe a stranger, lover or friend will open up
Yearning for a drop of fresh water, it was
But ravenous fiend, was not to be fed haphazardly
Horns and wings never match in our world
Let it go, it said, for only blood would satiate its thirst

Never silence in those green eyes,
Maybe in chaos, could also be found eternal peace
He said he never fit into this world
Yet more alike than different he was
Hypocrisy and honesty were, but two edges of the same coin
Let it go, he said, idyll was not meant for this hell anyway

Dreaming while being awake
Maybe loving what she cannot attain
Who anyway loves whole heartedly
Love itself is a half torn letter
Walking through a half empty coffee shop
Let it go, she said, maybe she will watch it begin again

Normality.

It's 12.29 a.m. on my side of the globe. As the clock ticks, my thoughts wander back to yesterday, which, time be told, got over just 30 mins ago. In the past 24 hours, I heard about a royal baby princess being born, mourned over a music legend dying, consoled a friend shedding tears and cursed a proprietor shredding his employee in nothingness.

"When the night has come and the land is dark; 
 And the moon is the only light we'll see... 
 No I won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid." 

Books, movies, wise wisdom givers have taught us two things - fear and love. Two principal things that keep the world going, that keep feelings afloat in an otherwise chaotic downtown. If only was life a dinner table, and picking was as simple as choosing tulips from a basket of flowers, maybe we would have had a better time out here, wouldn't we? Yet we're so afraid that we slip into normality, into the inexplicable boredom that routine brings along with it. We've heard about swimming with the tide takes us furthest offshore, and so we believe in it. We victimise ourselves, subdued against the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet and the not-at-all.

What about that little princess who just stepped into this world? Or the little angel who got home across the street? The little calf that dropped to its feet 3 hours ago in the swamps? Maybe they should they let their souls perish in the lonely frustration of the life they deserve and might never be able to reach. Instead, they would aspire for greatness one day. Each of them. Each of us. You know why? Because of hope. And because a little bit of expectation brings them the furthest offshore. The bay is for the weakest they said, for those who are afraid of the immensity of the oceans and all of its treasures.

So today when you shed those two extra tears, and the pit in your stomach hurts a little bit more, smile through it, and remember that the world you desire is out there. It is yours and it can be won. I do not however, give my guarantee about the people living in it.

Cheers,
Sneha.



P.S. Hi People. Long overdue. Life messes you up.
Don't ask why tulips, they just enthral me somehow. Besides no one really chooses roses anymore now, do they? We lost Sir Ben E King today, and though it's inevitable, I wish we hadn't quite right now. The world needs people who can heal with their music, and his always ever did. Congrats to Prince William and the Duchesse and all of the Kingdom though. We lose some, we gain some right? I felt like writing after a long time because of someone special. 'Cause we all need a little hope sometimes you know. ;) 

Happy New Year

It's the end of a great year.


Here's wishing you all a very Happy New Year and a great year ahead.

My New Year's resolution is to be a bit more active on the blog and not to let procrastination get the better of me.


Cheers People.


Loads of love,
Sneha 

Refinement.

A friend showed me this not so long ago. I had seen it prior to that moment, yet something struck. It's no good to judge we have been taught haut-et-fort: we're all leading separate lives and we all make choices. The choice to let someone in, the choice not to. The one to be a better person, or be the worst version of ourselves. The one to be a bigger person, to be the giver, or to selfishly take from. Some of these choices are conscious, we run them through our brains a thousand times before we pick one. Others, we just fall upon, subconsciously, yet knowingly.

I stumbled upon another inbox a fortnight ago, trying to send a message to a 'friend' until I realised how vividly unimportant I appeared to be in his/her life. I mean, if you essentially mean something to someone, they'll make an effort too right? People are those who're present when you're dying, or in jail, or need help moving your stuff or throwing a party or doing project works or general advice. Friends are those who're there when you actually have nothing substantial to give out. No school, no work, no parties, no projects, no house moving or dying ceremonies. Now, don't get this confused with being lonely. Friends won't even let you be lonely to begin with.

So why this picture? Because we're living swift lives. Lives that are so drastically entangled in the 'now', the 'fast' and the 'no time'. Intuitively, we make picks that are bound to be our downfall.

Take some time off and filter through. Realise the power of your giving. It's a gift, cherish it. Recognise the people that seep out the energy from your soul, and either learn not to give them the upper hand, or cut them off from your life. Bear in mind that this is not a simple task, nor is it a one-day effort. You have to continuously harden and make up your defence. Let people in, but allow them out. In fact, show them the way out when necessary.

I think the second picture is crucially more important than the first one. People in despair are never easy to turn down. Incredibly so when you have a compassionate heart. Envisaging anyone trying to fake their helplessness is but, a straight shot out of a movie frame. Realise that movies are a reflection of the society. For their own sakes, if people come to you only in need of help, perhaps it is more a reflection of who they are, rather than who they expect you to be. People should not own a part of you, even the one that cares for them. That is, albeit, too much power to give out. It's not being selfish; well, at least I hope it isn't; it's understanding how these people will stop coming around until they need you. Someone shouldn't be in your life because they need you in theirs. They should, because they want you in theirs.

I once told someone: 'People will always remember the one bad thing you did, and hundreds of good things you've done.' So be compassionate, be a giver, and bring out heartfelt smiles wherever you go. But also be protective, guarded and set limits. And let the only ones who're worth it cross those limits.




P.S. Heyyy people, I know it's Diwali time. And it's supposed to be all happy and colourful and sweetness all around. This was just going on in my mind for a while so I jotted it down. Have a great festival of lights otherwise. May you learn to enjoy the darkness and the light, since they're both equally important to have a balanced out life. Cheers from my side.