Refinement.

A friend showed me this not so long ago. I had seen it prior to that moment, yet something struck. It's no good to judge we have been taught haut-et-fort: we're all leading separate lives and we all make choices. The choice to let someone in, the choice not to. The one to be a better person, or be the worst version of ourselves. The one to be a bigger person, to be the giver, or to selfishly take from. Some of these choices are conscious, we run them through our brains a thousand times before we pick one. Others, we just fall upon, subconsciously, yet knowingly.

I stumbled upon another inbox a fortnight ago, trying to send a message to a 'friend' until I realised how vividly unimportant I appeared to be in his/her life. I mean, if you essentially mean something to someone, they'll make an effort too right? People are those who're present when you're dying, or in jail, or need help moving your stuff or throwing a party or doing project works or general advice. Friends are those who're there when you actually have nothing substantial to give out. No school, no work, no parties, no projects, no house moving or dying ceremonies. Now, don't get this confused with being lonely. Friends won't even let you be lonely to begin with.

So why this picture? Because we're living swift lives. Lives that are so drastically entangled in the 'now', the 'fast' and the 'no time'. Intuitively, we make picks that are bound to be our downfall.

Take some time off and filter through. Realise the power of your giving. It's a gift, cherish it. Recognise the people that seep out the energy from your soul, and either learn not to give them the upper hand, or cut them off from your life. Bear in mind that this is not a simple task, nor is it a one-day effort. You have to continuously harden and make up your defence. Let people in, but allow them out. In fact, show them the way out when necessary.

I think the second picture is crucially more important than the first one. People in despair are never easy to turn down. Incredibly so when you have a compassionate heart. Envisaging anyone trying to fake their helplessness is but, a straight shot out of a movie frame. Realise that movies are a reflection of the society. For their own sakes, if people come to you only in need of help, perhaps it is more a reflection of who they are, rather than who they expect you to be. People should not own a part of you, even the one that cares for them. That is, albeit, too much power to give out. It's not being selfish; well, at least I hope it isn't; it's understanding how these people will stop coming around until they need you. Someone shouldn't be in your life because they need you in theirs. They should, because they want you in theirs.

I once told someone: 'People will always remember the one bad thing you did, and hundreds of good things you've done.' So be compassionate, be a giver, and bring out heartfelt smiles wherever you go. But also be protective, guarded and set limits. And let the only ones who're worth it cross those limits.




P.S. Heyyy people, I know it's Diwali time. And it's supposed to be all happy and colourful and sweetness all around. This was just going on in my mind for a while so I jotted it down. Have a great festival of lights otherwise. May you learn to enjoy the darkness and the light, since they're both equally important to have a balanced out life. Cheers from my side.